Insecurity is just below the surface of any interaction we have throughout the day. I may be, nay, I am, overly sensitive and too aware for my own good.
But, the fact we have to work hard to feel comfortable in our own skin suggests something much deeper going on.
A lot of the personal problems we face are a manifestation of a larger culture. One in which the artist is shunned and participating in the larger economic unfolding is more important than art or expression ever could be. We all have to eat, right?
However, on the artistic, creative or spiritual path – we can even call it probing the depths of being human. We face uncertainty at every single turn. From ourselves, our actions, our thinking, our work, to our self-evaluated creative success in the marketplace.
These are all subtle judgements, but they’re judgements of self nonetheless. Thoughts (true or not) bundled with negative energy. Tallies we make that point to how not good enough we really are.
How did we get this way in the first place?
We can always place the blame somewhere else. We can blame our parents. We can blame the culture we grew up in. There’s always a moment in the past that’s the real reason for our being anxious, or impatient, or worried in the present moment.
In this way of thinking we are literally bringing the past into the present and letting it define us. We’re letting an event that has no right existing in this brand new moment and we’re letting it alter our current world. Is the answer to let go of the past?
The answer is that simple, but the application is a little more complex. We need to recognize when our feelings in the present are due to a past event, instead of the event at hand. A lot of times the endless onslaught of self-judgement has its roots in the media, in our craft, and culture of comparison.
If these comparisons against your own false gods didn’t exist where would you find yourself? False gods present themselves in any situation of comparison, whether good or bad.
If you were operating with truth in tow you’d know these reasons are simply falsehoods buried deep into your subconscious. A type of programming that exists to keep you captive and in line with the current system.
As a rebellious creative, drawing within the lines is impossible, and living outside of them brings tremendous difficulty. Doubt from within and doubt from outside.
The core root of fear almost always spurs from a false sense of separation. Would you be afraid if you were everything? There’s a sense of loneliness that only exists within our modern shackles. A world that’s unfit for us. A world where me and you and the ones we love don’t have a place.
Our route home has become blurred, our vision isn’t clear. The path back to the heart is never as straightforward as we’d like, but it also isn’t meant to be.
Insecurity comes from disconnection of your true self, a misplacement in the priority of thought and being rooted in a culture that doesn’t allow your true self to shine.
By this definition it might seem there isn’t a way out. It may seem we’re doomed to live the rest of our lives with insecurity just under the surface. Ready to bite, waiting to take us down into the depths of the sea. While we’re too nervous to hold our breaths and give ourselves a fighting chance.
What we aren’t left with is blame. The decisions of the past can only form shackles in the present if we let them. These feelings are usually resting upon beliefs that can be proven false, if only we let them. Put down the multiple plates of your rigid identity.
You choose these restrictions in the past, so you can easily choose again. There’s no point when you have to give up choice forever. Choosing to be a certain way or not depends upon your willingness to experiment with identity.
Are you clinging to less than desirable states of yourself because they have always been there? In a universe of constant flux we seek permanence in a variety of ways, ask yourself if clinging onto outdated feelings are trying to bring a sense of security?
Sometimes we feel insecure as a reason to justify our staying small. Being able to blame a part of ourselves that isn’t ready. Even though the opportunity to be fully ready is near impossible.
Plunge before you’re ready and let insecurity be a thing of the past.